Number Your Days

This represents thoughts and highlights from the book Death by Living, by N.D. Wilson, personalized, and alongside meditation in Psalm 90. I am greatly indebted to Wilson for his words, and to my Lord always for His word. I pray that it would be encouragement to and motivation for you. This is part 2 of 3.

--- "Cause of death? Life. May it be the truth." --- 

A THOUSAND YEARS

You may have heard the verses in Scripture that attempt to explain the unexplainable in reference to how God is not bound by time. The Apostle Peter says, “Do not overlook this one fact brothers, with the Lord one day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.” This Psalm says, “For a thousand years in your sight are but as yesterday when it is past, or as a watch in the night.”

Often, we think of this concept in how short life is. And we should, because it is. N.D. Wilson, author of Death by Living, which I will be quoting at length in this series, helps us realize the fragile shortness of this life:

“The world never slows down so that we can better grasp the story, so that we can form study groups and drill each other on the recent past until we have total retention. We have exactly one second to carve a memory of that second, to sort and file and prioritize in some attempt at preservation. But then the next second has arrived, the next breeze to distract us, the next plane slicing through the sky, the next funny skip from the next funny toddler, the next squirrel fracas, and the next falling leaf. Our imaginations are busy enough capturing now that it is easy to lose the just then.”

And elsewhere Wilson continues:

“No matter how many pictures we take, no matter how many scrapbooks we make, no matter how many moments we invade with a rolling camera, we will die. We will vanish. We cannot grab and take hold. We cannot smuggle things out with us through death. Go to an estate sale (if you dare). Look for photos. Stare at boxes full of vapor untreasured. Leave quickly. But this shouldn’t inspire melancholy; it should only tinge the sweet with the bitter. Don’t resent the moments simply because they cannot be frozen. Taste them. Savor them. Give thanks for that daily bread. Manna doesn’t keep overnight. More will come in the morning.”

Does that view of life change the way you live?

But it goes both ways. To God, our life is immeasurably long, and therefore immeasurably valuable. Stephen Carnock says the following:

"If a thousand years be as a day to the life of God, then as a year is to the life of man, so are three hundred and sixty-five thousand years to the life of God; and as seventy years are to the life of man, so are twenty-five million five hundred and fifty thousand years to the life of God."

Does that view of life change the way you live?

THE YEARS OF OUR LIFE ARE TOIL AND TROUBLE

Many of us are in denial about the fact that the years of our life are full of toil and trouble. But we might as well admit it and get on with it. I think we would enjoy everything more if we did. We may live vacation to vacation, or weekend to weekend, and never really reflect on the hard times and admit that they characterize more of our life in total. To reflect on them and admit this does not present a hopeless situation, as counter-intuitive as that seems. It actually presents a remarkably hopeful situation. It is the difference between leaving a funeral forcing your mind to think about something else, because the reality is too hard, and leaving a funeral thinking more about death – even your own death – than you did when you came, and rejoicing in that and in the context of a miracle that there is historical proof is true. Jesus Christ rose from the dead, which means that his promise that we will too, if we believe in him, can be trusted. It will be fulfilled.

^“Now if Christ is proclaimed as raised from the dead, how can some of you say that there is no resurrection of the dead? But if there is no resurrection of the dead, then not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, then our preaching is in vain and your faith is in vain. We are even found to be misrepresenting God, because we testified about God that he raised Christ, whom he did not raise if it is true that the dead are not raised. For if the dead are not raised, not even Christ has been raised. And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile and you are still in your sins. Then those also who have fallen asleep in Christ have perished. If in Christ we have hope in this life only, we are of all people most to be pitied. But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the firstfruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. But each in his own order: Christ the firstfruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ. Then comes the end, when he delivers the kingdom to God the Father after destroying every rule and every authority and power. For he must reign until he has put all his enemies under his feet. The last enemy to be destroyed is death.” – 1 Corinthians 15:12-26

But in the meantime, we have toil and trouble. People we love die, and we will one day die. N.D. Wilson drives home this point with such a helpful perspective:

“I will labor to live with the joyful fury of a child, but I will be exhausted. My body will decay and break. That part has already begun. I will grow weak, but with the memory of strength, reaching for strength that should be there and is now gone.

“In the end, I will face the greatest enemy that any man has ever faced. And I will lose.

“Our challenges always build. A ninety-five-year-old man sits in his chair with a wandering mind because a century cannot pass without many blows. That much life is heavy for the strongest shoulders. A young man might feel bold; he might feel courageous, gambling with life and death. And he might be courageous. But he trusts his strength; he feels as if he could fight, as if he could run, as if he has a chance. He may even choose his danger.

“It takes a different kind of courage to face death when you cannot run, when you cannot fight, when you are pinned beneath heavy decades, beneath the weight of life – when your faith really must be in another.”

Is your faith in another?

 NUMBER OUR DAYS

The Bible, and this specific passage (Psalm 90), tells us how we are to handle this toil and trouble. It says we should number our days. What on earth does that mean? Let’s see, 365 days in a year, I’ve lived 33 years, that’s 12,045 days, since my birthday in January. I don’t like math, and can never remember which months only have 30 days, so I won’t complete the formula. But you get the idea. Is that numbering my days? The number of my days is twelve thousand and something. There, I have numbered them, and if you insist, I will keep track on my iPhone from now on.

That is silly. Numbering our days means a lot more than counting them. Maybe it would be most helpful to clarify some things that numbering our days does not mean.

First, it does not mean get to retirement as soon and successfully as you can. Wilson says:

"There is a school of American thought that suggests we are supposed to live furiously and foolishly when young, slave away pointlessly when adults, and then coast into low-impact activity as soon as financially possible. Isn't that just a kiss on the lips (from a dog). The truth is that a life well lived is always lived on a rising scale of difficulty."

Second, it does not mean live for yourself in selfishness. Wilson says:

“They had reached their deaths by living. So will we. How much of the vineyard can we burn first? How fast can we run? How deeply can we laugh? Can we ever give more than we receive? How much gratitude can we show? How many of the least of these can we touch along the way? How many seeds will we get into the ground before we ourselves are planted?”

“Shall we die for ourselves or live for others? For most of us, the question is rarely posed in our final mortal moment (although there is glory when it is). Death is the finish line of this preliminary race. Shall we cross the finish line for ourselves or for others? The choice isn’t waiting for us down the track. The choice is now. Death is now. The choice is here.

“Lay your life down. Your heartbeats cannot be hoarded. Your reservoir of breath is draining away. You have hands, blister them while you can. You have bones, make them strain – they can carry nothing to the grave. You have lungs, let them spill with laughter. With an average life expectancy of 78.2 years in the US (subtracting eight hours a day for sleep), I have around 250,000 conscious hours remaining to me in which I could be smiling or scowling, rejoicing in my life, in this race, in this story, or moaning and complaining about my troubles. I can be giving my fingers, my back, my mind, my words, my breaths to my wife and children and my neighbors, or I can grasp after the vapor and the vanity for myself, dragging my feet, afraid to die and therefore afraid to live. And, like Adam, I will still die in the end. Living is the same thing as dying. Living well is the same thing as dying for others."

So what does it mean to number our days? More thoughts from Wilson:

“If life is a story, how shall we then live? It isn’t complicated (just hard). Take up your life and follow Him. Face trouble. Pursue it. Climb it. Smile at its roar like a tree planted by cool water even when your branches groan, when your golden leaves are stripped and the frost bites deep, even when your grip on this earth is torn loose and you fall among mourning saplings.”

“Grabbing will always fail. Hoarding always fails. Living to live always reaches inevitable and pointless Darwinian burnout – bigger fears, deeper mortal panic. Live to die. If you do, inevitable success awaits you. If you were suddenly given more than you could count, and you couldn’t keep any of it for yourself, what would you do? That is, after all, our current situation. Grabbing will always fail. Giving will always succeed. Bestow. Our children, our friends, and our neighbors will all be better off if we work to accumulate for their sakes. If God has given you a widow’s mite, let it go. Set it on the altar. If God has given you a greater banquet than you could possibly eat, let it go. Set it on the altar. Collect a ragtag crew and seat them. Don’t leave food uneaten, strength unspent, wine undrunk.”

Did you hear that? Living to live always reaches inevitable burnout, bigger fears, and deeper mortal panic. Living to die leads to inevitable success. I wish we heard this more often at funerals. What does it mean? It doesn’t make sense if you are afraid of dying. But why would you be afraid of dying if you knew you were going to rise? There are so many implications of this way of thinking. Ultimately, none of them are relevant if you aren’t saved. And I so badly want them to be relevant for you. What does it mean to be saved? What must you do?

“If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” – Romans 10:9

“About midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God, and the prisoners were listening to them, and suddenly there was a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison were shaken. And immediately all the doors were opened, and everyone's bonds were unfastened. When the jailer woke and saw that the prison doors were open, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped. But Paul cried with a loud voice, ‘Do not harm yourself, for we are all here.’ And the jailer called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas. Then he brought them out and said, ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved?’ And they said, ‘Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.’ – Acts 16:25-31

Believe! Confess that Jesus is Lord and that God raised him from the dead! Because He is and He did.

So what then are the implications of “living to die”, or this way of “numbering our days”? According to the Psalmist (Moses) in Psalm 90, one implication that he at least anticipates is gladness even in affliction. Another is the favor of the Lord. There are others.

“Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants, and your glorious power to their children. Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!” – Psalm 90:15-17

To be continued...

--- "It is our living that takes us towards the end." ---