Time to Pay Attention

Time is flying!

Let me back up. I started this post with a cliché, and a nonsensical one at that. I am sorry. I can do better. Time is not an object, and therefore cannot “fly”. It would make more sense if I said, “this computer is flying.” That would make more sense not because this computer is currently capable of levitating, but because in our imaginations we could picture a computer literally fluttering through the air. On its own, you see. Pigs flying makes perfect sense. Not because pigs fly but because pigs most certainly could fly if someone fashioned some fancy technology alongside their pathetic little tails. But time is not an object. To say time is flying would be like saying “physics is flying”. Um, no. Physics is a concept, a way to explain the universe. It and time are certainly doing a lot of things, whether real or imagined (think time travel). But not flying, and such a sentence is not even coherent.  

But my goodness, I digress. What I am trying to get you thinking about is the fascinating concept that we know of as time. It is my word for the year. What time is it? I have been attempting to answer that question for myself this year, not with an arbitrary accounting for where and when we are in the universe, but with a focus, courage, and humility to live in the moment and love, serve, think, and act in such a way that might, God willing, bring more hope and more Jesus to bear in our crazy world. As the “teacher” says in Ecclesiastes, “for everything there is a season, and a time for every manner under heaven.” If time is not an infinite concept – that is to say, if it was “created” by one who is not subject to its limitations – but is still a concept within our reality, than the way we think about it and act according to it is very important. And quite challenging. We say things like “time is flying by” or “where did the time go?”, and the angelic beings of heaven look at us as if we have two heads. As it happens, it is they who may themselves have two(or more) heads, but that is neither here nor there. They are right to think us crazy for such comments. Somewhere amid ignoring time, wasting time, “maximizing” time, and obsessing over time is the godly Christian life.

The Bible says, “make the best use of the time, for the days are evil.” That is true and helpful on one level, yet on its own it is out of context and a bit strange. Time cannot be “used” if it does not ultimately exist. The entire context in this passage in Ephesians 5 says, “Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time, because the days are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Seems to me that “look carefully how you walk”, and “do not be foolish”, and “understand what the will of the Lord is”, are more practical and actionable imperatives than “make the best use of the time”. I could spend a mortal life trying to figure out what that is supposed to mean and, in the process, forget to watch my step and fall headlong into a puddle like some fool, thinking in God’s sovereignty that is what was meant to happen. Pity that would be.

Rather, so far this year I have discovered two main components of what I think is a start to a biblical understanding and application of time. I learn the most when I read, and in this case, I am partly regurgitating a combination of ideas from multiple books that until now were mashed painfully together within my head. Not literally, you see. I am using reading as a metaphor for eating, and the brain functioning as the stomach wait now that I try to explain it I realize the regurgitating verb ruins the entire metaphor in a somewhat graphic way. Sorry for the run-on sentence.  

This post is about the first of these two components: pay attention.

In the book of Jeremiah chapter 6 and verse 16 it says, “Thus says the LORD: ‘Stand by the roads, and look, and ask for the ancient paths, where the good way is; and walk in it; and find rest for your souls.’

In his book Recapturing the Wonder, Mike Cosper says about this verse, “It’s a call to stillness – to stand rather than continue our aimless wandering, to resist the momentum of our chaotic world and look, think, consider where we’re going and why. Hannah Arendt once wrote that we need to ‘think what we’re doing,’ saying that the problem of our modern age is thoughtlessness. We live busy lives, and our thoughtlessness allows us to continue to be carried along in the currents of an unreflective culture.”

Stop. Look. Think. This is what it means to pay attention. The result is rest for your soul!

STOP

What I see from this verse in Jeremiah is simply to stop; during a walk, driving a car, typing an email, even having a conversation (though be conscious of social cues). In order to pay attention to something or someone there must be a break for thought and reflection. Sleep is an unconscious break. We need periodic conscious breaks.

Stop scrolling. For just a bloody second. What are some things you have just seen? Does it make you sad, confused, excited, anxious, jealous? Marinate on that a bit. I check my email more times a day than I pray. That is wretched sin and in repentance I resolve to stop and change with the Lord’s help.

Stop working. For just a minute. How is it going? Are you working on the right things? Do you need help? Do you need a drink of water for goodness sake? Often I get frustrated at work when I have to go to the bathroom or when it is lunchtime, because I can’t “afford” to take a break and dread restarting what I was doing. I am hopelessly depraved and need Jesus to help me stop.

Stop multi-tasking. Matt Perman says, “Multi-tasking seems like a way to save time but actually costs more time and is, in fact, impossible. It is inefficient because it makes both tasks take longer.” I find myself creating distractions that aren’t necessary or important, and I can do so at the expense of ignoring quality time with my wife or daughter or co-workers. Do I really have to pick up that toy on the floor that I falsely perceive as a trip hazard on the way to getting the remote to change the channel, and in the process miss an adorable smile and giggle from my daughter? No. Do I really have to fill up my cup at the water cooler at the same time I am loading the Keurig and at the same time I am washing my coffee mug from the day before, and in the process not have the mental capacity to say hi to my co-worker who comes in the breakroom to get an apple from the refrigerator? No. I need to stop and pay attention.

Stop worrying. As Newt Scamander says, all worrying does is make you suffer twice. My wife graciously helped me see this year that I stress out about things that aren’t even a big deal. And with things that are, what is the point? We are born into trouble; worrying doesn’t change that!

LOOK

Why is it that when people say “don’t look now, but…” we always look? Yet when someone says “look at that…” we often act like we are looking but really aren’t? What is wrong with us?

Do you know that none of us were saved by Jesus who didn’t stop and look to Him? If we never saw Jesus by looking to Him we never received his saving grace. How could we have? Isaiah 45:22 (KJV) says, “Look unto me, and be ye saved, all the ends of the earth: for I am God, and there is none else.” The famous Charles Spurgeon heard and obeyed this verse and was saved. He once said, “I looked and I looked until I almost looked my eyes away.”

Look at the created order. Cosper, referring to God’s answer to Job and his friends during Job’s suffering, says, “God doesn’t respond to Job’s misery with explanations or dismissive comments. Instead, he calls Job’s attention to the confusing wonder of the world we live in. He leads Job from the mystery of his suffering to the mysteries of creation, from puzzle to puzzle, from wonder to wonder. And as Chesterton puts it, ‘The secret of God is a bright and not a sad one.’ In the skipping of mountain goats, the thunder of snow, and the crashing of oceans, there’s a wink and smile, a God who is joyful and even playful in the midst of the madness. While we may not be able to comprehend it, there is – at least to God – sensibility and an order. The universe is a Cosmos after all, and Chesterton tells us its maker has a smile and a sense of humor, even as he reminds us of our smallness in its midst. He calls our attention from the midst of sorrows to the broader world where sorrows are one mystery among many.”

Look at the people around you. What are they thinking? What are their longings? How can you pray for or help them? Don’t just people watch but look at them. Don’t stare but look purposefully.

Look includes listening well. I was recently introduced to the concept of agile listening, and it was a breakthrough. True listening is not just trying harder and harder to hear and understand what someone is saying. It is strengthening new muscles to listen in different and more effective ways. Like reading, or writing, or typing, or grocery shopping, or really anything else – it is working smarter rather than harder. It is not doing the same thing multiple times or with more effort each time expecting it to improve but doing it differently so that it will improve. Robert Greenleaf, who is known for coining the term “servant leadership”, or at least making it popular in our era, once said that good listening means that “the automatic response to any problem is to listen first.” He goes on to quote St. Francis who famously prayed, “Grant that I may not seek so much to be understood as to understand.” Look by listening like that. I am writing to myself here.

Again I say, look to Him. A friend said this simple phrase to me recently as an encouragement and for accountability. It is so powerful and effective! Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall SEE God! Look to Him who can save and give eternal rest for your soul. Look to Him who is saving you and can keep you and present you blameless and with great joy to the Father who is mighty to be praised. Look!

THINK

In college during fraternity pledgeship I was forced in an “instruction session” (intentionally vague for legal reasons) to mimic The Thinking Man because I was so quiet. Thankfully I was clothed, unlike the famous sculpture. Bear with me as I digress again and attempt to make a point.

I thought for a while that my quietness was a bad thing and even something to be embarrassed by. Now I believe God has blessed me in such a way that an important part of the Christian life comes naturally to me. That is, thinking. That is, intentional reflection on the realities and events of life, using the Bible to frame and inform my thoughts (as opposed to using my thoughts to inform the Bible). Yes, it is true, I overthink often and there are serious downsides to this tendency (I’m working on it). Yet, I am thankful to be gifted in such a way by my Lord to have something to offer here, specifically as it involves a biblical perspective of time and the value of paying attention in the form of thinking. Here are some things I have learned:

Think purely. I used to think the biblical command to “take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ” meant only to dismiss impure thoughts and replace them with pure thoughts. It does mean that, kind of. It does mean to end up with pure thoughts. But I have found it doesn’t mean to simply remove the impure or irrelevant thoughts; it means to evaluate them, and understand them, and challenge them, and ultimately channel them towards something wholesome and pure. Thought issues are heart issues, and the biblical and gospel solution is not behavior modification but deep soul work. Think purely by taking your thoughts captive and channeling them towards obedience after careful examination.

Think clearly. Thinking takes time. I promise you have it. If you don’t spend time in thought, your mind will feel like a pillowcase of Halloween candy or a bag of dead leaves in Autumn. Overstuffed, no organization, no rhyme or reason, only confusion. The human brain, and the human soul, is not meant to consume temporal information and experience like it is collecting coins or stamps, never to be used again. It is meant to reflect on information and experience in an orderly way and connect dots, experience emotion, and serve others in constructive ways. An unclear mind is like a fancy computer system that cannot run queries or output reports; just a mess of information that makes no sense and that no one has access to anyway. Be thoughtful, that is “full of thoughts”, but take the time to translate those thoughts into something clear and useful. This will not happen automatically. Trust me! Why do you think I am writing this post?? Reference the brain regurgitating metaphor.

Think creativity. The ability to imagine is such a gift. I am going to be honest; if you have trouble or don’t enjoy the likes of Lord of the Rings, Chronicles of Narnia, Harry Potter, the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Star Wars, or other fantasy type stories (to use modern examples), I might gently challenge your healthy use of your God-given imagination. These types of stories, speaking from personal experience, unleash the imagination in a way that facilitates beautiful and constructive thought, which ultimately makes the true story of redemptive history revealed in the Bible and fulfilled in Jesus marvelous. I will rely on my British literary companions (and Tim Keller) here. They have so much to say on this matter, and it is GOLD.

Tolkien: "For creative Fantasy is founded upon the hard recognition that things are so in the world as appears under the sun; on a recognition of fact, but a slavery to it. So upon logic was founded the nonsense that displays itself in the tales and rhymes of Lewis Carroll. If men really could not distinguish between frogs and men, fairy-stories about frog-kings would not have arisen."

Chesterton: “Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed.”

Lewis: "I think it is possible that by confining your child to blameless stories of child life in which nothing at all alarming even happens, you would fail to banish the terrors and would succeed in banishing all that can ennoble them or make them endurable. For in the fairy tales, side by side with the terrible figures, we find the immemorial comforters and protectors, the radiant ones...It would be nice if no little boy in bed, hearing, or thinking the hears a sound, were ever at all frightened. But if he is going to be frightened, I think it better that he should think of giants and dragons than merely of burglars. And I think St. George, or any bright champion in armor, is a better comfort than the idea of the police."

Keller: "We love stories about victory snatched from the jaws of defeat. Or sacrificial heroism that brings life out of certain death. And we pay money to watch those kinds of movies, and we pay money to read about those stories...and modern people say life is not like that. But Tolkien points out that these are deep human longings. For some reason human beings in our day and time want the kind of stories that are very well told, that evoke secondary belief, that catch you up in them, that tell you that good will triumph over evil, that there is a supernatural world, that you're not stuck in time, that there is love without parting, that there is a way of escaping death; why would people still feel this way?...People know at the fact level that we're all going to die, that we will lose loved ones, or they will lose us. But underneath, all human beings feel that there shouldn't be death. Good should triumph over evil. This is how reality ought to be. This is why the stories that are popular are like fairy tales."

Think actively. Thinking should always lead to action of some kind, whether to pray, to apologize, to express love or praise, to serve, or just to continue in daily life with more joy in the Lord. The mind shouldn’t “wander”, unless it wanders towards something that is helpful to someone or glorifies God. I am lousy at this. A major sin area I am working on specifically in my marriage is passiveness in conversation and sanctification. God is calling me to and helping me be assertive. I need my thoughts to become words – of affirmation, of unguarded emotional processing – and actions, to serve others rather than settle in the false comfort of my own mind. That comfort is actually danger land.

Think purposefully. Limit daydreaming. Good thinking confirms and reveals the promises of God in Scripture fulfilled in Jesus. The Bible says we are being transformed by the renewing of our minds – purposeful thought. It also says we are being transferred from one degree of glory to another. Our thoughts, as part of our life, are taking us somewhere. Part of sanctification is growth in the “knowledge of the Lord”. It is progressive – albeit with valleys – but ultimately increasing. Let your thinking be part of that process, with the help of the Spirit.

Stop. Look. Think. Pay attention. But then what? The next post is about the second component relating to discerning the time: cultivate virtue.

Christians at Church Having Conversations

I had the chance to give a presentation at a forum at my church, and sit on a panel discussion, along with my wife and others. The topic was healthy conversations, and how to build a culture of conversation (among disagreement) in our local church, especially in light of the state of our culture, and in anticipation of what is likely to be an interesting 2020 in America. The following is more or less what I said.

I will admit I am very uncomfortable. I would much rather be having a conversation with each of you individually, over coffee, then giving a presentation about conversations, without coffee (as it happens). 

But! It is important. I take comfort in the fact that this is the way conversations have always happened. Not all conversations happen in one sitting. The good ones at least. We are all part of a “Great Conversation”, as literary scholars refer to it. Every book, article, lecture, panel discussion, small group meeting, book club, podcast, and casual conversation in a café or pub, is building upon former thoughts for greater clarity and understanding. Our contribution is not to have the final word, but to progress the dialogue and continue to learn and grow in the knowledge of the Lord, building upon generations of thought before us. So much of Scripture really helps us with this, and in the end, the goal is our sanctification and God’s glory.

I want to give you 3 words that I hope you can remember and apply as it relates to healthy conversations, each with a basic principle. 

First, speech; build others up with our speech.

Second, harmony; live in harmony despite differences.

Third, love; love by welcoming and bearing with, and not avoiding.

Conversation is not only ubiquitous but also essential to our flourishing as humans. Imagine for a second a reality where conversation didn’t exist. What if two-way dialogue with your family on the troubles of the day, or with your Uber driver on happenings in the city, or with your co-workers about daily controversy on social media, or with the Living God related to your deepest longings, was impossible? Think about the angst of thoughts unspoken or unaffirmed. Life always involves relationships, and relationships always include conversation. We wouldn’t function without conversation. Scripture shows that conversation is a key part of our Christian discipleship. It is not a random topic. And it inherently includes disagreement.

For whatever reason, I have had several opportunities over the years to disagree with other Christians.

-        In college a close friend suddenly revealed how he didn’t believe Jesus is God.

-        Before I was at College Park I went back and forth for MONTHS with a friend about what the nature of the church should look like; a “house church” model, or a formal gathering in a building with the preaching of the Word and the sacraments.

-        Our small group has carved out from our normal small group time something we call “theology nights”, where we allow extended time for study and healthy debate on matters that are disputable but still important for us as Christians. It has been great practice to learn how to disagree well. Some of my favorite topics have been entertainment, race and the gospel, and the gifts of the spirit.

-        Right now, I am in a book study with 3 other men which has allowed us to discuss issues of racial reconciliation. Not easy!

With God’s help I think I have come away with more empathy, wisdom, and understanding of who Jesus is. And I have enjoyed the experience. There is a sweet and supernatural experience that occurs when you lovingly disagree within the context of ongoing fellowship with a brother or sister in Christ. I want that for our church! It is possible and it is worth seeking and ultimately, it is necessary to fulfill God’s will for his church and his children. So, using our 3 words, here are some practical principles of what a healthy culture of conversation could look like:

SPEECH

First, speech. How do you speak to others when they say something you disagree with? What words and tone do you use? What is the attitude and motive in your response? Much of Scripture would be virtually unintelligible if conversation didn’t exist, and so it would be foolishness to ignore the passages that one way or another encourage healthy conversation. To truly obey much of what the Bible commands us, it would be impossible to avoid disagreement and conversation about disputable matters – even within the same local church – because it would require lack of fellowship.

General Principle: Build others up with your speech.

“The words of the reckless pierce like swords, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” – Proverbs 12:18

“Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.” – Proverbs 12:25

“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

“The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” – Proverbs 15:4

“So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbringing.” - Romans 14:9

What does this mean for us practically? How do we do this?

Specific Principle: Practice discernment and be sensitive to temperament.

You’ve heard this before said differently: be quick to listen, slow to speak; always assume the best; weep with those who weep; be characterized by empathy more than passion. But the connection between discernment and temperament is worth highlighting.

Proverbs 26:4-5 says, “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him. Answer a fool according to his folly, or he will be wise in his own eyes.” Which is it? Always avoid engagement or always be attracted to debate? The lesson is to pay attention to your temperament, and use discernment, and have courage to go against our temperament when appropriate.

In other words, sometimes you shouldn’t engage when you feel like you should, and other times you should engage when you normally wouldn’t. The key is to use wisdom and courage in your speech, and to always build others up.

HARMONY

Next, harmony. Disagreement inevitably exists because we are sinful people who are very different, and we are having all these conversations all the time. But, harmony is a category in our reality and a very high priority of our God. It is not an unrealistic goal; it is a real promise. And it implies difference. It’s not harmony in music when its one voice only or two voices of the same tone. God knew we would be different, he knew we would disagree, and he encourages us to seek this with great energy because harmony among differences is his design and promise.

General Principle: Live in harmony despite differences.

Paul says it this way in Romans 15:

“May the God of endurance and encouragement grant that you live in such harmony with one another, in accord with Christ Jesus, that together you may with one voice glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore welcome one another as Christ has welcomed you, for the glory of God.” – Romans 15:5-7

Paul offers this after a lengthy discourse on helping Jews and Gentiles, and those weak and strong in faith, to live in harmony despite sometime profound differences.

How do we do this, perhaps in a situation where it doesn’t seem like there are many differences?

Specific Principle: Embrace cultural and ethnic differences.

Differences are there. If it doesn’t seem like there are many differences within your community it means you aren’t having many conversations. Tim Keller points out in a sermon on Romans 14-15 that underneath many disagreements about disputable matters – whether theological, philosophical, ethical, political – are cultural differences. In all the talk about eating, and Sabbath, and holy days, what was one common denominator among the people who differed in Rome and Corinth? Cultural and ethnic differences! Jews and Gentiles!

Keller applies this by explaining that based on your cultural background and experience, you may be particularly wise as to gospel implications in some situations and particularly foolish or naïve in others. He says – don’t miss this – the more homogeneous a church is the more likely it is to have enormous blind spots. Let that sink in for a second. We need cultural diversity to more clearly see Jesus and see the gospel! The bringing together of Jew and Gentile and instructing them to work through differences and welcome each other, was a profound grace of God in the early church and can and should be today for us as well, if we would embrace it. All for the purpose of seeing and knowing Jesus more clearly!

LOVE

Finally, love. The command to love others is everywhere in the Bible. Of interest for us I think is the kind of love, in difficult conversations, that welcomes each other, and bears with one another.

General Principle: Love by welcoming and bearing with, not avoiding.

Romans 14:1-3 --- “As for the one who is weak in faith, welcome him, but not to quarrel over opinions. One person believes he may eat anything, while the weak person eats only vegetables. Let not the one who eats despise the one who abstains, and let not the one who abstains pass judgment on the one who eats, for God has welcomed him.”

Colossians 3:12-14 --- “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all else put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

What are we to do with this?

Specific Principle: No opinion or preference should be off-limits for conversation.

This is true especially within the category of what the Bible calls “disputable matters”. What does it mean to welcome one another, yet not quarrel over opinions? Surely it doesn’t mean avoid disagreement, because that would mean avoiding conversation, which would mean avoiding relationship, which would not be welcoming. Welcoming and bearing with implies engaging with disagreement in a loving way.

Each local church may define what are “disputable matters”, based on their context and what is already considered essential to membership. But in general, as Jonathan Leeman says, disputable matters usually include things that don’t affect salvation or the organization of a local congregation. For us, we have a membership covenant and statement of faith, which lays out what we believe is essential. We also as Elders are working on defining “theological distinctives”, which would communicate what is not essential to membership but represents the flavor of our church and will be visible in preaching, teaching, and general ministry. After that there will always be non-essential, yet still important, beliefs, practices, or preferences. Here is a possible list of disputable matters for us (brace yourself!): politics, dating, education, alcohol use, movies, tattoos, gambling, fertility treatment, climate change, social justice. Breathe. Everyone good?

Part of the purpose of this forum is to help us not ignore but embrace conversation on these disputable matters. There is a risk here. To some, this will always seem divisive or uninteresting. To others, this will seem more important than even preaching the gospel. What we believe should be sought is a healthy balance so that we remain gospel and Christ-centered, with the Bible as our first and final authority, yet also not within a superficial fellowship. Legitimate disagreements should not be ignored and should be a tool to contribute to our discipleship.

G.K. Chesterton famously said, “I never discuss anything except politics and religion. There is nothing else to discuss”. Imagine Chesterton at your Thanksgiving dinner table, or on social media! Or… next to you after the service ends. As fellow believers, who are eternally united by the gospel and the blood of Jesus, nothing should prevent us from sharing our thoughts on a topic, with complete assurance that a biblical “conversation” would be welcomed, even in disagreement. Healthy conversation among disagreement is perhaps one of the most tangible ways we can show to the world how we love each other.

A last suggestion I was going to give is to not seek closure prematurely. Most disputable matters have been disputable for centuries, maybe longer. It is often unhelpful to dismiss the conversation too early and cut-off further healthy dialogue. Better to offer a “to be continued”! Which is what I must do now, because this is has been too long!

What Time Is It?

My word for the year is TIME. My question for the year, then, is "what time is it?" As I said in a previous post, this question will not be answered simply in numbers, or by some otherwise arbitrary accounting for where and when we are in the universe. Instead, it will be answered by a focus and courage and humility to live in the moment, and love, serve, think, and act in such a way that might, God willing, bring more hope and more Jesus to bear in our crazy world.

A big part of answering this question becomes very practical and relates to how we prioritize. When I think about how to prioritize my time, my activities, my energy, or my resources, I think about it in categories. To be honest, I tend to think of almost everything in categories. I am a sucker for the 2-3 point sermon; if you are a preacher and you don't outline your sermon in 2-3 points, that is ok, I will process it that way no matter what!

VISION FOR PRIORITIZATION

Ecclesiastes 3 gives us what I think is a helpful vision for prioritization. It begins:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.

I'll stop there for a moment. Do you know what that sentence means? One thing I think it could mean is you will get to everything you need to get to in God's sovereignty. Nothing will be left undone that needs to be done. Right away this helps us relax a bit. My ability to prioritize my life, dare I say "be productive", depends first on my surrendering to the reality that my life is short, God is sovereign and, ultimately, he holds all of my life in his hands, and nothing of significance or necessity will miss its "season". The author of Ecclesiastes continues:

A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.

What these verses say to me is that every day, every week, every month, every year, and every decade is different. That means that our approach to "prioritizing" our life will look different in every season, and this gives us both flexibility and expectation. The vision for prioritization from the Bible, then, is to take a seasonal approach to our life and activities. This helps so much with expectations. You may not love the season you are in right now. But what time is it? Is it time to casually read a book or play golf with friends, or is it time to die to self and spend quality time with and serve your family? Is it time to laugh, or is it a time to weep?

FOUNDATION FOR PRIORITIZATION

With that vision in mind, we need a foundation, and the Bible does not disappoint. Jesus does not disappoint. He says in Matthew 6:33:

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

My first reaction to this verse, because of my sinful heart, and even though I know the verses prior, is "what things, Lord? Tell me about the things I will get back? Give me all the things!" Jesus then looks at me with a disappointed smile and reminds me of the verses prior: do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, or what you will wear. Clothes and food sound a lot to me like life's priorities. Do not be anxious about where you will live, or whom you will marry, or where you will work, or what you will have for lunch (this last one is particularly hard for me). Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness. Do not be anxious about how you will schedule your weeknights, or whether your son and daughter will play soccer or baseball, or do dance or theater, or what school they should go to. Seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

Now, surely you know this does not mean do not think about these things and expect the answers to come automatically. There is wisdom and discernment needed, and it all comes from Jesus, and unfortunately that will have to be a separate blog post. But the foundation for prioritization from the Bible is to seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, in every season, no matter the circumstances. What does this look like practically? I have a few ideas.

PRACTICAL SUGGESTIONS

First, prioritize faithfulness always, and fruitfulness seasonally. This idea was groundbreaking for me and came from the book The Gospel at Work by Greg Gilbert and Sebastian Traeger. I have often "ranked" my priorities as God, Family, Work, and Church; my relationship with God first, my relationship with my wife and daughter second, my responsibilities in my profession and calling third, and my participation and service at my local church fourth. This always seemed like an easy, straight forward way to prioritize and make decisions about activities and such. Until something semi-urgent in priority three came at the same time as something extra-urgent in priority four. Using this ranking system, what do you do when a crisis at work runs up against a normally stressful day at home? How do you choose? Is it always the higher priority "ranking" that takes precedent?

The faithfulness and fruitfulness balance helps alleviate this conflict. We are called to be faithful in all areas of life, in every season, but God may call us in certain seasons to dedicate extra capacity or energy to one specific area to be extra fruitful. There is a minimum standard of faithfulness in every arena of life, and by "minimum" I do not mean small; the "minimum" standard in marriage for the husband is to love your wife as Christ loved the Church and DIED for her. Some minimum! In every arena we should avoid idleness. But sometimes there is a place to invest in being extra fruitful in certain arenas for certain seasons. For example, as much as I resist this because I would not choose it, I believe God is calling me to pursue extra fruitfulness in my professional life right now. Yet, I have only been married for seven years and have so much to learn and so many areas to grow in loving my wife, and I have a new daughter, and I serve as an Elder at my local church, so marriage, fatherhood, and service to the church can not fall below faithfulness in this season. But all of those areas may not require additional fruitfulness for this season. The opposite ditch to avoid of course in this approach is idolatry. I don't want to be idle in my spiritual life, home life, or church life, but I also don't want to become idolatrous in my work life. "Faithfulness, then fruitfulness, avoid idolatry," says Gilbert and Traeger.

Second, prioritize 8pm to Midnight. This idea came to me from Kevin DeYoung's helpful little book Crazy Busy. We talk a lot about prioritizing the morning hours, or even through the day about which times we feel most energetic and productive (some people are morning people, some people thrive in the afternoons). But think about the missed opportunities if we squander the hours from 8pm to Midnight. This concept depends so much on your season, but think about the opportunity in this window of time to focus on and grow intimacy in your marriage; emotionally, spiritually, and physically. Maybe you have older kids; think about the opportunity in this time frame to spend quality time with your kids, maybe reading or helping with homework, or watching a game and teaching them about box scores, or just hanging out. Think about the opportunity for relaxed and meaningful reading in the quiet hours. Think about the opportunity for non-distracted work activities, if you are in a season of extra responsibility professionally. Think about the opportunity for dessert or fellowship with friends or neighbors who you don't get to see very often, and maybe need encouragement the ministry of presence.

Think about this. I have a novel idea. What if you spent half or more of the minutes between 8pm and Midnight SLEEPING? Do you ever wonder when the saints of old, or the productivity gurus of today, who talk about getting started at 4am or so, went to bed at night? It was not Midnight, I assure you. Get some sleep! Depending on the season, going to bed at 8pm or so is a brilliant and godly decision.

Third, prioritize relationships over results. As you prioritize, developing and deepening relationships with people should be more important than results from completed responsibilities. We should be, we must be, content with lack of productivity in this life. Two books have been instrumental in my growth in this area, which by the grace of God started at a point of obsession with productivity and is arriving closer at this mysterious contentment, which actually makes us way more "productive" in the economy of Scripture and the kingdom of God.

The first one is Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives, by Dr. Richard Swenson. This book makes a convincing argument that the age we live in (it was written in 2004) makes us more susceptible to overload than at any other place or time in history. The example that is most memorable to me is that one daily edition of The New York Times contains more information than a Engishman of the 18th Century would have been exposed to in a lifetime. If that is true, it stands to reason we need to be vert intentional about combating this risk of overload with margin. The book goes on to help us think through practical ways - or "prescriptions" - to build margin into our lives, and to do so for the primary purpose to have space to be in relationship with others. The goal is not to build margin to get more done; that is the "myth of progress", according to Swenson; it will only lead to more overload. The goal is to build margin for relationships, and see the transforming freedom and joy (albeit maybe lack of results) change communities and people.

The second book is What's Best Next: How the Gospel Transforms the Way You Get Things Done, by Matt Perman. This is perhaps the most unique and practical book I have ever read. It combines theological wisdom with time management best practices in a brilliant symphony. Among other things, it helped me realize that all "work" is service to people, so when we consider the concept of "getting things done", whether it applies to my to-do list at the office, or in church ministry, or at home with my family, it all should be centered on serving others. Do "all things" to the glory of God, says the Apostle Paul, and know that your labor is not in vain.

Fourth, prioritize gratitude over obligation. This idea came from Hannah Anderson, author of All That's Good: Recovering the Lost Art of Discernment. I heard it on the Mere Fidelity podcast where she was the guest discussing this book. The concept is that we should choose our activities (or priorities) out of gratitude rather than obligation. Instead of thinking through all the things we have to do, we should stop and express gratitude to God for all the things we get to do in the first place, and then out of that gratitude we lean in to what God has for us, discerning His will as best we can with Scripture as our guide, and trusting his sovereignty in our decisions made with that posture. If we choose out of gratitude, we will face all activities with joy, humility, and patience. If we choose out of obligation, we will face our activities with a burden of responsibility and even guilt, and ultimately our approach will probably be selfish in nature. That certainly has been my experience. Also, if we approach our priorities out of gratitude rather than obligation, it may actually help us discern between those things that God has created us or is calling us to do, and those that may either not be necessary or not be helpful. Something to consider.

What time is it for you?

Prayer for MLK Day

Heavenly Father, we are thankful as we start a new year for a rhythm and a calendar that reminds us of events and people who had a lasting impact on our history and on the human experience.

We look to the national holiday tomorrow and join our nation in remembering and honoring a man, Martin Luther King, Jr., who preached the word of God and promoted justice in his own time. We acknowledge that any man, or any preacher, is not honored because of words of eloquent wisdom or even their motives, but along with the Apostle Paul we rejoice whenever Christ is proclaimed.

Yet, it is not lost on us that the cultural landscape in 2019 makes the celebration of this holiday particularly sobering, and particularly important. The dream of racial harmony is not yet realized. Our neighborhoods, schools, workplaces, and churches do not yet reflect the diversity that your Word describes is beautiful. Racial prejudice still lingers and brings hurt that affects generations.

Therefore, we take this opportunity on this occasion to pray to you God – our Wonderful Counselor, Everlasting Father, Mighty God, Prince of Peace – for a specific working of your Spirit and your healing hand in our country, our world, and our hearts.

We live in a culture and a time when it is far easier to judge the opinions and actions of others rather than reflect on the wickedness in our own heart. Lord, please forgive us and have mercy. Help us remove the log in our eye before identifying the speck in our brothers’ and sisters’.

And we live in a culture and a time when it is far easier to attend to our own needs without also being aware of and caring for the needs of others, especially those who are different than us. Forgive us Lord! Deliver us from the snare of debating “who is my neighbor?” like the lawyer in the parable in Luke, and instead help us simply be a good neighbor to whomever we encounter, especially those in need, like the good Samaritan did in that story, and like you, Jesus, did throughout your earthly life.

Lord we pray that you would victoriously cast out fear that may exist in our hearts, and that does exist in our country and perhaps even our local church, towards pursuing biblical reconciliation and diversity; the kind of reconciliation and diversity we see so clearly in the Bible, the gospel, and in your promises of a new heaven and a new earth. Give us courage to overcome our own fears and strengthen us to love with the perfect love that you tell us casts out fear.

We pray for the same thing that King prayed for more than 50 years ago; a world, a country, and a church that more closely reflects the holiness, the love, and the hope displayed in the person and work of Jesus Christ. We lament like he did that we live in a place and a time that has a stained history and a present problem of racism. But we trust like he did that our God is able and willing to bring about everlasting healing and reconciliation in our generation.

Father, through your Son Jesus and by the power of your Spirit, bring to bear in our lives, in our country, and in our church, the only message that can truly change sinful hearts, save and unite sinful people, and reflect the glory that you intend for us to reflect – the message of the gospel that He who knew no sin became sin on our behalf, that we might become the righteousness of God. In awe of that message and dependent on your power, we pray in the name of Jesus, our Savior. Amen!